Category Archives : Humor

News: Apple rejects Sony eBook reader App…oi here we go again

In this article on I read: In a statement posted on its ereader site, Sony said: “Unfortunately, with little notice, Apple changed the way it enforces its rules and this will prevent the current version of the Reader™ for iPhone® from being available in the app store. We opened a dialog with Apple to see if we can come up with an equitable resolution but reached an impasse at this time. “We’re exploring other avenues to bring the Reader experience to Apple mobile devices. We know that many of you are eagerly awaiting the application and we appreciate your continued patience.” I especially like the part about pursuing other avenues, hopefully, those avenues are legal. Apple’s behavior is very anti-competitive, hopefully it will blow up in their face.

DC Universe Online Game Review

DCUO is about as original as a Xerox of a tracing of a photograph. I love online games, ever since I played my first MUD back in 1998, I have loved the idea of online gaming, especially the social aspects, call me a weirdo, but I don’t see much difference in the kinds of friendships you have online, and those you have offline with regular people in your own town, or school or work. They are just as shallow and pointless. I have even made a small number of friends that, long after we both stopped playing the games we met in, we still communicate outside of games. I love the idea of online games, I just hate the execution. Nothing about online games has really changed since the late 1980s early 1990s. It’s all theme and variation, you might think that this is due to the intrinsic nature of games, especially the limitations of computer games, but really it has a lot more to do with the general intellectual degeneracy of content generators and providers. I say this only because, every so often, someone does come out with a really good and creative game that breaks all the rules and succeeds. DCUO might succeed, but not only does it not break all the rules, or any of them, it basically embraces the most static and mindless game model ever. Like evar. If you have ever played card games, then here’s an analogy for you. Imagine if every single card game was exactly like 5 […]

How to have an unhealthy relationship

Narrator: Hey there little Timmy, why don’t you put down that brush of fine, healthy, lead based paint and come over here to learn something about relationships. Timmy: Geewiz mister, you nearly scared my socks off. Sure, I’d like to learn about relationships. Narrator: Well Timmy, you’re in luck, because I’m here to explain to you how to have a dysfunctional relationship with someone who’d just as soon eat their own young as look at you. Timmy: Really? I am not so sure about that. I thought relationships were about love and understanding, not infanticidal cannibalism. Narrator: Ahh, the follies of youth. No Timmy, human relationships might seem like they should be about love and understanding, but there’s how a thing should be, and how it really is, and if you want to survive in this world, you better plan on having relationship after relationship based on distrust, mutual feeding, and a healthy dose of heartless lying. Timmy: Golly Mister, that sounds just awful. Narrator: Yes Timmy, it truly is, but look on the bright side, after 70 or so years of heart wrenching failure, you’ll welcome death with open arms. Timmy: That sounds real fun, where do I start. Narrator: Well Timmy, the good news is, in order to have a dysfunctional relationship and always find yourself again and again in the same position is to not do much at all. The first thing you need to do is let people know you are lovelorn, nothing gets predatory people a flutter like a wounded […]

Samurai Sword with 1 million layers OMFGBBQTURNIP 2

I swear to Christ if I read one more comment by an idiot talking about Damascus Steel layered 1 million times, and the ultimate Japanese sword I am going to scream. How it’s done: You take four billets, if you don’t know what a billet is, then stop talking about forging. You fold those four, they become 8, hammer it down and fold those 8 they become 16, hammer it down and fold those 16 they become 32. As it turns out, to get 1 million layers you only need to fold it 18 times (Thanks to Dan for pointing out the error, at 28 folds, it would be 1 billion layers!). Fold: 1: 8 Fold: 2: 16 Fold: 3: 32 Fold: 4: 64 Fold: 5: 128 Fold: 6: 256 Fold: 7: 512 Fold: 8: 1024 Fold: 9: 2048 Fold: 10: 4096 Fold: 11: 8192 Fold: 12: 16384 Fold: 13: 32768 Fold: 14: 65536 Fold: 15: 131072 Fold: 16: 262144 Fold: 17: 524288 Fold: 18: 1048576 1. Japanese forging methods are not particularly better than any other. 2. The type of metal you use has a lot to do with it. 3. Basic types of steel used in crow bars, car springs, and such are leaps and bounds ahead of swords made more than 100 years ago. 4. There were no advanced secrets of metallurgy 500-1000 years ago that made those swords magically stronger than a sword you’d make today out of spring steel. STOP ACTING LIKE THERE IS. The inspiration for this rant came […]

Die Flash, Hello Nurse HTML 5 2

Well, There’s not much more I can add than this: Die Flash, Die from the pink crow. Read it, learn it, love it. He also get’s extra points for using the word Shadenfreude, which is german for “the feeling of delight you feel when learning of the misfortunes of others, especially enemies or those you dislike.” I know, I know, don’t I love flash? Somewhat, it can be great, and I do post a lot of flash related stuff, especially flex/as3. I also know C# and, doesn’t mean I like those languages or products, it just means that when a Client says “Can you do it in…”, I can 90% of the time say “yes, if you want, but…” And the but is where I usually recommend a better, more maintainable and less proprietary option. Don’t get me wrong, Adobe is making effort to opensource, which is why I have kind of reserved judgment for a little later. However so far, it only seems a bit half assed. They should remember the old fable of the child and the nettles: A Boy was stung by a Nettle. He ran home and told his Mother, saying, “Although it hurts me very much, I only touched it gently.” “That was just why it stung you,” said his Mother. “The next time you touch a Nettle, grasp it boldly, and it will be soft as silk to your hand, and not in the least hurt you.” Whatever you do, do with all your might. While there are […]

Why microsoft should die a slow painful death

C#. No, it’s not because the language is bad, it’s actually pretty damn cool. It’s the name. Every time I search on google for information related to C/C++, I get hundreds of thousands of hits for C#. If I were using C#, I wouldn’t mind, but I am not. Like they couldn’t have come up with a better name? I always forget to type -C#. Well, to google’s credit, at least they have that option…

Unrealistic eCommerce Platforms

I am really getting tired of the unrealistic eCommerce platforms. They all seem to be centered around this sexy web-forms backend, like real people have time to sit at their computer and just manually enter in data. It boggles my mind entirely. Every time I have ever used a store software, rails, or php, the first question I get asked by customers is: Isn’t there a better way? I have built so many freaking excel/csv/tsv importing scripts that I am at my wits end that no one offers this ability out of the box. My customers have thousands of items, some run into the 20-30 thousand items. Who’s gonna manually update those? I am so close to just building my own from the ground up. The thing that stops me: payment gateways. I don’t want to have to my own integration code for them. The main issue I have is, all of these systems are user friendly, not programmer friendly. They aren’t designed on an easy to use/understand/implement programming idiom, they are philosophically accessible to the lowest common denominator, which means under the hood, they are so convoluted as to be nigh incomprehensible. When I say incomprehensible I mean incomprehensible when you are working on a deadline, like program me a shoppe and get it done by the end of the week. When you have to spend a week hacking on a code base and reading the reams of user friendly documentation, that’s a waste of time and money. Don’t get me wrong, I could […]

cmake error: could not create named generator xxx 6

This is a problem I had, and most of the responses on google were in the form of mailing lists, uggh. Anyway, I did this reading so you don’t have to, first thing to try: Did you spell the generator correctly? type cmake with no arguments, see if your generator is listed, if so, are  you spelling it exactly? Try again. If you have messed around with this for awhile, you might need to del cmakecache.txt file. Hope this helps someone else when they have the issue. And remember kiddies, don’t count on people spelling their directions correctly.

New C++ library with Happy Ending

Hi, Having a problem with <insert problem in c++ here>, don’t fret, as I have written an awesome lib that will solve your problem in 1 line of code, here’s a tasty code sample: MyLib::MySpecialValue solved = MyLib::solveYourProblem(ProblemData); All you need to do is download my project, and use <insert obscure replacement for make here> then type:  obscuremake all and you are done! Don’t have obscuremake? No problem, just download and install and you’ll be off an running! [While source is downloading...] Welcome to This page updated sufficiently long ago to make you think twice about using this tool. ObscureMake is a new, improved form of make that is nothing even like make, using a special Fortran/COBOL hybrid language called Fortrol, you create your app in a ridiculously non-standard directory structure, and obscuremake does the rest, finding all of your randomly hidden include and inline files. ObscureMake is a complete waste of time, if you are about to download a project using obscuremake, please reconsider, by the time you download the project to compile and this tool, you’ll spend hours trying to figure out how to get it to run, once you do get it to run, it will spew out a bunch of nonsensical errors, which you will then spend 2 days tracking down trying to correct, finally, the project will compile, but once you include it in your current project, it won’t compile anymore because of some random error or collision. To be honest, you are better off writing it yourself.