Category Archives : Game Reviews

Elite Dangerous? Mostly Loading, Mostly Crashing, Mostly Irritating, Mostly Lonely 2

  Elite: Dangerous is an ambitious game, and on the whole is very well done. Though I would say it has been and continues to be plagued with a number of unfortunate gameplay killing problems, I expect that most of them will be taken care of post-haste. Games generally have two major problems, both are the game designer/programmer/producers fault: Buggy Client/Server The first kind of problem is the buggy client or server, but this is a fault which we can’t really hold against them, because it’s not like there is some cadre of developers twisting their mustaches and laughing about how often the client or server goes down or disconnects. It’s irritating, but generally the pleasure gained playing the game while it’s working can offset this problem. There is also the issue of being an early adopter of a game, the sooner you get in, the more money/power/respect you’ll build up in the game so coping with the growing pains of the client and server as well as the game has its benefits. Shitty Gameplay The other problem a game can have is shitty gameplay, which is a rather broad category which spans from irritating mechanics all the way up to “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” While Elite:Dangerous seems to have minimized any serious fun killers, there are a few mechanics which just piss you off to no end. When you couple these issues with the fact that if rand(10) < 5, the server randomly disconnects, or crashes, especially while in SuperCruise, HyperDrive, […]


A Letter to the Creators of EVE

A Response to CCP Hellmar’s Letter. The estrangement from CCP that many of you have been feeling of late is my fault, and for that I am truly sorry. There are many contributing factors, but in the end it is I who must shoulder the responsibility for much of what has happened. I appreciate both the sentiment and the spin, as well as the effort you are putting forward, to be honest I doubt many other game companies would bother to write the letter you’re writing but let’s be honest, the problems with EVE and with CCP are endemic, and asking us to swallow this guilt trip is not coming off as humble as you’d think. I mean saying that you are responsible for the the current state of EVE is like saying Lee Harvey Oswald really shot JFK, sure, that’s the official story, but no one really believes it. I was impatient when I should have been cautious, defiant when I should have been conciliatory and arrogant when I should have been humble. No, You were greedy. We aren’t children, well most of us aren’t. A few of us have lived long enough, and participated in business long enough to recognize zealous hubris from gluttonous greed. You got greedy and you fucked up. You started to look at us like we were just dollar signs, just consumers. …growing the company to 600 people, increasing our subscriber count beyond that of the population of Iceland and on and on, one resounding success after the next […]

Fear and Loathing On Tranquility 2

There’s a general tendency in the world to cruelty and sadism, a kind of malaise that affects the hearts and minds of those who for all intents and purposes appear to be normal human beings. You never know who they are in your daily life, but they exist, some are called sociopaths, others psychopaths, but I tend to think that there is something more too it, a kind of awful yearning in the human heart to burn everything in your sight. But more importantly, to burn it alive. There’s a river deep in the soul of man from which springs eternally all the goodness that could ever be, and next to that river is a textile factory, weaving a cloth of iniquity and ejecting the raw sewage of its manufacture into said river. The toilets also flush there, at least from the smell. If there is only one truth you ever learn in this life is that most people you meet, even if they aren’t hurting you now, will probably not think twice at hurting in the future if they ever get the chance. This unfortunate reality dawns on most of us a little too late. Thus enters the game of EVE Online. The Sandbox. EVE Online is the sci-fi cesspool of all the worlds most childish and sadistic and hopeful and nerdy and intelligent and dimwitted. It is a melting pot of every type of player from every type of game somehow all living in the same space, something that CCP prides themselves on. […]

DC Universe Online Game Review

DCUO is about as original as a Xerox of a tracing of a photograph. I love online games, ever since I played my first MUD back in 1998, I have loved the idea of online gaming, especially the social aspects, call me a weirdo, but I don’t see much difference in the kinds of friendships you have online, and those you have offline with regular people in your own town, or school or work. They are just as shallow and pointless. I have even made a small number of friends that, long after we both stopped playing the games we met in, we still communicate outside of games. I love the idea of online games, I just hate the execution. Nothing about online games has really changed since the late 1980s early 1990s. It’s all theme and variation, you might think that this is due to the intrinsic nature of games, especially the limitations of computer games, but really it has a lot more to do with the general intellectual degeneracy of content generators and providers. I say this only because, every so often, someone does come out with a really good and creative game that breaks all the rules and succeeds. DCUO might succeed, but not only does it not break all the rules, or any of them, it basically embraces the most static and mindless game model ever. Like evar. If you have ever played card games, then here’s an analogy for you. Imagine if every single card game was exactly like 5 […]