There’s a general tendency in the world to cruelty and sadism, a kind of malaise that affects the hearts and minds of those who for all intents and purposes appear to be normal human beings. You never know who they are in your daily life, but they exist, some are called sociopaths, others psychopaths, but I tend to think that there is something more too it, a kind of awful yearning in the human heart to burn everything in your sight. But more importantly, to burn it alive.
There’s a river deep in the soul of man from which springs eternally all the goodness that could ever be, and next to that river is a textile factory, weaving a cloth of iniquity and ejecting the raw sewage of its manufacture into said river. The toilets also flush there, at least from the smell.
If there is only one truth you ever learn in this life is that most people you meet, even if they aren’t hurting you now, will probably not think twice at hurting in the future if they ever get the chance. This unfortunate reality dawns on most of us a little too late.
Thus enters the game of EVE Online. The Sandbox.
EVE Online is the sci-fi cesspool of all the worlds most childish and sadistic and hopeful and nerdy and intelligent and dimwitted. It is a melting pot of every type of player from every type of game somehow all living in the same space, something that CCP prides themselves on.
But EVE isn’t finished, it’s a work in progress, a work that seems to have stalled in favor of an already successful company irrationally going retarded and trying to monetize a game already monetized, to hook a hard core player base deeper with casual social network game strategies. They aren’t fooling anyone, and most of their dedicated player base has become that much more irritated with their latest antics.
The question that has been on my mind, and I think the minds of so many others is: What the hell do we keep playing this damn game?
My only theory is that we must be complete and total masochists, EVE Online isn’t so much a game, it isn’t fun, it’s nothing but one heartache, or betrayal, or frustration, or bore after another. EVE Online is like a shitty fast food restaurant being installed in the middle of a famine, of course everyone is going to eat there, they’re starving, but that doesn’t mean the food is actually any good. It’s probably killing you just as much as starving would, only a bit slower.
The problem is there are so few games out there that are even decent, and even fewer that have the theme that attracts us. So few sci-fi games period, so few with player driven economies, so few that aren’t split up on to 11ty billion servers.
The truth is, EVE Tricked Us®, EVE claimed to be freedom from the grinds of WoW and EverQuest, they sold us on time based training, and no leveling, they promised us “career paths” that would allow us to choose our own style of game play. They promised us variety, and cool ships, and meta game elements, and they fibbed their fucking asses off because EVE is a perpetual grind. The time based training is the great un-equalizer. You will always be at a lower footing than someone who started before you.
The careers in EVE are a joke if you take them seriously, which you shouldn’t, there’s another way to understand EVE. EVE is all about the long con. It’s a trick, and we are the Rubes, the Marks, we are being taken for a ride because we signed up for a fun space game and what we got what 101 ways to be victimised by everyone.
EVE Online is fundamentally a sandbox for psychopathic endeavors. Everything is geared to attract unsuspecting players to the game in hopes of something new, or different, or more challenging, but all of that is to rope you in. You become little more than the scratching post of griefers, the slaves of corporations. Hell, in EVE you aren’t even a wage slave, you have PAY to get into a corp most of the time, either actively with corp dues, or passively with corp tax.
EVE is fundamentally about exploitation, all of the features of the game are geared not around how you can have fun(unless you are having fun by hurting others), but how others can have fun screwing you. Corporations are set up in such a way as to be primed for theft and betrayal. Everyone is trying to be the top dog, it’s a fundamentally pyramidal self-service kind of game.
Combat in eve is a farce, there is no real strategy to it, you click on someone and then shoot them, you can try to spiral around them, and that can be effective, but fitting your ship right is less important than having 10-15 “corp-mates” to fly with you so that it hardly matters how you fit your ship at all.
EVE is more of a gankbox than anything, how many different ways can you find to get together a gang of like minded sadists and hunt around for some lone ship. I was in a Pirate corporation, all we did was move from system to system trying to catch loners. And we were a highly ranked Pirate Corp. There was no challenge or strategy to it, we would look at the opponent, if they were stronger than us, we ran, if we were strong than them we fought. If it was at all ambiguous, haul ass out of there.
How is that fun? I missed the member, I signed up to use my mind, not just my mouse. But EVE is mindless. It requires no mind. I can’t tell you the number of people I met in the game who were perfectly capable of fitting up ships and having high kill/death ratios and couldn’t even read my characters name. I felt like I was awash in a world of complete dyslexics. But if they had been dyslexic, it would be forgiveable. EVE is like a massive Idiocracy that doesn’t seem to realize how bad it really is.
And yet we keep playing. I wonder why.
The game isn’t fun. It’s not worth it. The friends you make are hardly friends. Most of them you barely like, and the ones you do, you’d remain friends with them anyway.
Eve is the dream that never was, because it was a lie. Now I see the slow and subtle signs of an impending death and I have to say: What can I do to help?
How can I bring the monster down, break the cycle, break the mold, break the chains, we have been so long in the servitude of the delusion that is EVE Online, the farce, the fake, the flippant and mealy mouthed propaganda about the sandbox and freedom, and emergent gameplay. The only gameplay that emerges in EVE is psychopathic gameplay.Categories: Game Reviews, Information, Reviews and Rants, Writings | Comments (2) | Permalink